The 5 stages of stepping outside my comfort zone
I recently took a cold plunge in open water on a very frosty January morning. While for some this might not be a big deal, let me give you some context.
I am not a strong swimmer
I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve swam in open water (not including trips to the beach of course) and;
I’ve never done a cold plunge or ice bath before.
So this was a pretty out of the ordinary for me.
Being a parent to young kids and having worked at an office 5 days a week for as long as I know, there has been little time to step outside my comfort zone. In fact, as a busy family, we thrive on routine, structure and having a safety net. We go on exciting holidays but they are far from the adventurous breaks that I might have agreed to in my early 20’s. Having said that, even when I was younger and more “carefree”, the risks I would take would be calculated for the most part (barring some very stupid decisions which still send shivers down my spine).
I strongly believe that stepping outside our comfort zone involves developing new muscle memory. I don’t think having this muscle memory makes the activity itself any easier to do or less exciting, but we find ourself seeking things outside the ordinary more often. However, if we stop all together, the less likely we are to even think about trying new things. The bigger question though is whether stepping out of our comfort zone is something we really need? As kids, we tested our boundaries all the time. However, as we get older, most of us settle into routine and rarely step outside our comfort zone. So to really understand what it meant for me to step out, I put it to test.
And that’s how cold plunge in open water in deep winter entered the chat…
Cold plunges/ice baths are not a trend that I was planning to jump on. People invest a lot of money to buy spa-level accessories at home or spend a fortune at their gyms to regularly indulge in ice baths or cryotherapy ,but it’s not something I felt the need for right now. I’m sure there are health benefits. However, making it to the gym regularly and eating my protein is sufficent for now. But when a good friend told me that she regularly visits the Hampstead Heath pond for a 5 minute swim through winter, I was intrigued. It felt more natural, therapeutic, and at the same time unassumingly adventurous given the time of the year.
Stage 1: Excitement
Saying yes to something different felt exciting. Trying out new things makes me feel like I’m living a little, you know? The planning stage is exciting too and I felt like I had something to look forward to that was just mine.
Stage 2: Dread, cold feet and self-doubt
But at some point, the evening before, the dread started to set in. I started wondering why I would wake up at 7am on a cold Sunday morning while everyone else is nicely tucked in bed. But I got out of bed anyway – I had to, knowing that I had someone waiting for me in the park when it’s still dark out. In my rush to meet my friend on time, I forget my coat and towel, but thankfully I remembered to take my warm bath robe, which was a cliché Christmas gift I hadn’t used for 2 years. There is a time and place for everything!
I took a cab to the pond and as luck would have it, I had the most lovely chatty cab driver, too lively for how early in the morning it was. When he realized he was dropping me off at the Millfield Lane Toilets, he questioned “What exactly are you up to this morning?”. We went on to discuss how even though he was a bad swimmer, he once made the crazy decision to go swimming in the Maldives to spot mantle rays in the middle of the ocean. It’s those crazy moments we remember the most in life.
Lets just say, it was the banter I needed and I got reminded of the famous millennial saying – YOLO! But somewhere in the back of my mind I kept thinking, maybe I’ll just watch my friend have a swim first instead of going in myself.
As we drove up the heath, it got foggier, but as I entered the heath with my friend, it felt mystical and tranquil. The dread started to ebb away…
Stage 3: In the moment – Focus and Perseverance
…and a sense of calm and focus came over me. I thought, “I’ve come out this far, I might as well give it a go.”
The changing rooms were much better than I anticipated – a small wooden chalet with lots of heaters and a row of hot showers. Inside, I met a handful of women who had already completed their swim. They could see from the look on my face that I was new to the gig. They were all so reassuring and supportive. After I changed and stepped out on the deck, I met the lifeguard on duty. She was also very friendly and shared all the trips and tricks of going into the water when it’s so cold. And once I stepped in, she was right there throughout.
I had pictured myself wincing as I got into the cold water but everything leading up to this moment had somehow eased me and I entered the water decisively. I felt like I was on autopilot and zoned out everything else going on in my life – almost in a meditative trance. The water felt like a cold embrace - you know the kind when you have a bad fight with someone you love and you decide to hug it out to make up. You are still very upset, but you know you have to stay in it to make things work. My bigger fear was being in the deep dark water, so I swam close to the ladder and after a minute I was ready to come out as I didn’t want to be too cold to swim back to safety.
Stage 4: Exhilaration
Climbing out of the water, I felt immediate relief but also so proud of what I had just done. I had achieved the whole “mind over matter” thing. My friend and the lifeguard cheered me on, saying it was a great first dip but confirmed that I was mad to try open water swimming in the middle of winter. I wasn’t shivering. I wasn’t rushing back inside to the warm chalet. I was still weirdly calm as I gloated a little to myself once I realized I could do hard things. And just knowing that was enough to give me a confidence boost for the rest of the week.
Stage 5: Reflection
I realised that leaving our comfort zone doesn’t have to be big moments like bungee jumping into a canyon gushing with water or climbing Everest Base Camp. For people like you and me who like to take calculated risks, these moments can come in small doses where we are still in control. Testing our boundaries with pre-established limits helps build resilience and perseverance. These moments serve as good practice for times when things in life really do go out of control and we have no option but to show up for ourselves.
After this experience, I think stepping out of my comfort zone is a muscle that I do need to re-develop. The sense of achievement, pride and the newness of these feelings is all so refreshing to not to feel again! Especially during times when life can feel a bit mundane doing the same thing on repeat, every day. And of course there is nothing better than having a cool little story to tell at the next party I attend.
One of my biggest motivations for building reSOULve is to make stepping outside our comfort zone more accessible and fun for the busiest of people and families. Reach out if you want to join my next adventure!
